Stay the Course!

 I'm often asked, "what is the #1 piece of advice you would give to your Jiu-jitsu students"?  

Simple.....don't quit!

Jiu-jitsu is hard...there's no way around it.  But for those who embrace it is a lifestyle & a lifelong practice, the rewards are immense & invaluable!  It is said often, and it's very true that Jiu-jitsu is a marathon, not a sprint.  You have to pace yourself, and run your own race.  You are on your OWN path, not anyone else's.  And, you have to be realistic & reasonable with your expectations.  But, if you want to really gain the full benefit of Jiu-jitsu, it takes years of dedicated study & practice, and there really is no end point for the serious practitioner.  It takes commitment!

Now, maybe you're just getting started on your Jiu-jitsu journey....everything is fresh, new, & you couldn't be more excited each time you step on the mat to add just one more piece to the puzzle.  That's great! Keep it up!  But, you should prepare yourself now for the inevitable realization that there will come a day when you will want to consider quitting.  I don't know too many Jiu-jitsu black belts that didn't at least consider quitting at some point.  It happens to MOST people at some point along their journey.  So, just like learning how to defend against an armbar or choke, if you recognize the signs early and have a plan to deal with it, it is much easier to survive it!

Maybe you've been training for a few months, or even have invested a few years already.  You're finding it harder & harder to find the motivation to get to class, and easier & easier to find excuses for skipping training.  You may be overwhelmed and think to yourself, "maybe this just isn't for me".  If you are at that point (and it may happen multiple times along your path) where you're considering hanging up the gi....remember why you started.  There was a reason that you first stepped onto the mat.  If you quit now, you're giving up on those goals & all the progress that you've made so far.  Remember your first class, and how awesome it was! Even if you've been training only a few months, you would have given almost anything when you first walked onto the mat to be where you're at RIGHT NOW!  Ask yourself, "am I better now than when I started? Than I was six months ago? A year ago?" Obviously, the answer is YES!  You may not see it, but you've already made a LOT of progress.  Are you really willing to give it up and have done all of that for nothing?  Don't compare yourself to others....remember you're on your own path. Just stay the course & keep pushing forward, and you'll be amazed at the results that consistent long-term training will have.

Maybe you think you're "good enough".  Remember, there is no endpoint in Jiu-jitsu.  No matter where you're at on the path or how long you've been training, there is ALWAYS more to learn & room for improvement.  Everything that we practice are perishable skills, and if they are not continually reviewed to keep "sharpening the sword" they will not be there when you need them. The true beauty of Jiu-jitsu training is not achieving some arbitrary goal, winning some competition, or achieving some belt rank. There is no ultimate destination...the journey itself IS the point.  Keep in mind, if you're not moving forward, you're sliding backwards.  True practitioners of Jiu-jitsu are always seeking ways to improve themselves both on & off the mat.  How will quitting now help to make whatever is going on in your life better?

You can always find "reasons" to quit.  Injuries happen, life gets busy, finances get tight, other things start to take priority, and life just gets in the way.  Maybe you've "lost motivation"...You are not unique.  We are ALL busy.  None of us have "free" time.  We all have obstacles to overcome.   The harsh reality is that most of your "reasons" are really excuses to justify to yourself why it's ok to quit.  We prioritize the things that are important. If you are really serious about being a better version of yourself and reaching the goals that you had when you started, there's no better place to do that then on the mat!  Motivation ALWAYS fades away.  True long term success requires the discipline to keep going when it's not easy!  If you're dealing with a difficult situation in life, that's even MORE reason to re-focus and re-dedicate yourself to training.  The mat is therapy.  Quitting something that keeps you in good shape physically & mentally, gives you a great outlet in a positive, encouraging environment with a great group of like-minded people, while challenging & developing yourself isn't going to make it better.

Please don't fool yourself into thinking you're just "taking a break".  In all of my years of Jiu-jitsu training & teaching, I've seen many, many people walk out the door.  And so many walked out all saying this same thing...."I'll be back, I just have to take a break for a while to get some things together...".  I have yet to see EVEN ONE of these people ever make it back to the mat on a consistent basis.  I have seen a rare few that quit for several months, or even a few years, who tried to come back.  However, invariably, they were never able to gain back the momentum and get back to the same consistency that they had previously.  In many cases their peers that kept training have now surpassed them on the mat, and they get frustrated & ultimately quit again.  Don't fall victim to this trap!  If you have made a conscious decision that Jiu-jitsu really isn't for you, and you decide to quit, then own it.  That is your choice & I will wish you all the best.  Don't trick yourself into thinking that you will be back.  You won't.

To be sure, quitting is the easier path.  No doubt, Jiu-jitsu is hard.  But most things in life that are worth doing are.  But staying the course is so much more rewarding in the long term. Pushing through these times of self doubt and frustration, and not allowing yourself to quit when things get a little difficult is something that will benefit you greatly, not only on the mat, but also in life.  And once you overcome this obstacle the first time, it gets easier the next time.  The flip side is, if you allow yourself to quit when things get tough, it is much easier to quit again the next time you run into an obstacle.  No matter how long you train, there will ALWAYS be ups and downs.  Just trust the process, stay on the path, and enjoy the ride! The tough times when nothing makes sense, and you feel frustrated, and actually think you're getting worse are often when you're starting to really make the most progress.  If you just stay the course, the upside is coming, I promise!   

I don't know anyone who has ever regretted NOT quitting Jiu-jitsu.  But I run into former students all the time who all tell me the same thing..."I really wish I had never quit."  Usually followed up by "I need to get back in there".  I always just wish them the best & let them know that the mat will be there when they're ready.  Sadly however,  I already know it's a very unlikely reality for them to ever step foot on the mat again.

If you are at a point where you're starting to question your progress, your dedication, and whether Jiu-jitsu is really right for you, and you're thinking about quitting, please, talk to your instructor and your teammates.  Likely, they have been there before and can help get you pointed back in the right direction.  As an instructor and a school owner, I clearly have a vested interest in every student that walks through the door, and keeping them on the mat for as long as possible.  Obviously, everyone is important to the team and to the business.  But I also know that the vast majority of people who start training Jiu-jitsu will end up quitting within a year or two.  And while I always hate to see a student walk away from the mat, I know that they will soon be replaced by the next new white belt walking through the door.  However, the business aside, the main frustration with seeing students give up on themselves is because I want the best for them, and I know what they're giving up.  I've seen firsthand the positive, life-changing benefits that consistent, continuous training in Jiu-jitsu has had on me personally, as well as so many of our students.  It is no exaggeration to say that I have literally seen it transform people's entire lives for the better!  And as both an instructor, and a fellow practitioner, I hate to see someone walk away from all of that before they ever even realized their true potential.  

A black belt is just a white belt that didn't quit training.  The black belts are not who's best....they're who's left.   Are you going to give up on yourself & become just another Jiu-jitsu statistic? That guy or girl that we see in old pictures year from now wondering "whatever happened to them?"  Or, do you have what it takes to stay the course and optimize your full potential, embracing a lifestyle of continuous training, seeking to always better yourself?  Whatever you decide, make it a conscious decision, and not a casual one that you will come to regret later.  The choice is yours.