So, you’ve become a “Jiu-jitsu parent”. Congratulations on making one of the absolute BEST investments in your child’s future & overall well-being!
I’m sure you’re happy to see your child put their gi on and step on the mat, and are excited to watch their progress so far! I wanted to just take a moment to caution you about a common mistake that I’ve seen many well-intentioned parents make that can inadvertently inhibit their child’s progress.
Naturally, every parent wants to see their child succeed and do well at whatever they do in life. Often, parents will want to “debrief” after Jiu-jitsu class, usually on the car ride home, and rehash all the details of every move that was learned, and go over their perceived notions about what their child “should have done” during sparring, what they did right, what they did wrong, etc. Sometimes, they will insist that their child also practice their moves at home. While I understand that this usually comes from a place of only the best of intentions, it can actually be detrimental to your child’s progress.
Jiu-jitsu is hard, even for adults, and takes a while to really start to get figured out. If you haven’t personally been on the mat in a Jiu-jitsu class, there is WAY more going on than what it appears as an outside observer.
At our academy, we (and I hope you as well) are in this for the LONG TERM results! Our main priority with our youth students, especially our younger ones, is to get them to love being on the mat & love Jiu-jitsu. I don’t really care if an 8 year old has a perfect armbar….if they are still training at 18, they WILL!
The best advice I can give to parents is to just get your child to Jiu-jitsu practice consistently, trust the instructors & the process, and just let them have the beginner’s experience and ENJOY training! If they are pushed too hard, outside of class, training becomes a chore & a burden, and they are more likely to get burned out & want to quit. Explain the importance of coming to class regularly (a couple times/week….at this age they don’t need to train 5-6 days/week) & encourage them if THEY want to practice on their own outside of the mat, but never force it. During the ride home after class the best & ONLY questions to ask are:
“Did you have fun?”
and “Did you learn anything?”
…..and leave it at that!
And….by all means, if you are allowed to sit in & observe your child’s Jiu-jitsu class, please DO NOT attempt to coach or otherwise interact with them during class.
It is distracting to your child & the rest of the class, and disrespectful to the instructors. Besides that, unless you actually have trained extensively yourself, you’re in no position to be giving out technical advice anyway. If you trust your child’s instructors (and I assume you do, because you’re paying them good money to teach your child), please let them do their job. Trust me, they want you to be involved, but not on the mat. They will let you know if they need you.
If you REALLY want to be more involved, the absolute best way is to start training yourself! It is a great way to be able to share something really special with your child, and the best way for you to establish by your own example the importance of training. Many academies (such as ours) even have special “Family Classes” where you can train WITH your child under the qualified supervision & support of an instructor.
Even if you can’t see it right away, if your child is showing up consistently, they ARE making progress! In our program, students are only competing with themselves, and I strongly believe this is the best way, especially at a young age. I have seen many talented kids with all the potential in the world quit because they were pushed too hard, in too competitive an environment. If you really want them to succeed long term, make Jiu-jitsu a very important part of their life….but not their whole life. They still need to be kids!
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